When I was looking for a “Throwback Thursday” post, I thought with this being Zayne’s first year of school…this would be appropriate.

She’s having a baby

“She said that you need to get here NOW!” Jake said to me over the phone. I was on my way to a family reunion and my sister was apparently on her way to the hospital. She called me that morning saying she was starting to have contractions again and that she would keep me posted. She had been having contractions on and off for three weeks now, and we just got used to going on with our day, because they usually quit after a couple of hours. Well, this time they were real and she said, “Get here now!” They were van shopping in preparation for their new arrival, and when her contractions kept getting stronger and closer together they decided to go near the hospital. On my way, my 30 minute drive to the hospital, she called me 3 times asking how far I was, and was asking me if she should just check in. I told her it was up to her and I would find her when I got there. I hung up the phone and said to my mom, “You better speed. We will just tell the cop that we are having a baby!” Never mind she wasn’t even in the car with us.

Finally, we arrived at the hospital. My mom dropped me off out front and then went to park. She let me off at the patient pick up and I couldn’t get in. So I ran down to the other doors asking what floor labor and delivery was on.

As I was running down the hall to the elevators I called Jake and asked, “Where are you?” “Two D.” He responded. “OK, I am on my way.” I said. Then I hung up and dashed in an elevator. As I stepped off on the 3rd floor nothing looked familiar and it said intensive care or something I can’t remember, but it certainly wasn’t Labor and Delivery. I found a nurse and told her I was lost. She said I was definitely in the wrong area. She took me down a hallway you could only cross if you had a key card, and got me to Labor and Delivery. I was then frantically looking for room two D. The nurses asked me if they could help me find something. I told them I needed to find room Two D. “We don’t have a room two D.” they said with a puzzled tone. “Oh, well my sister is having a baby. Oh well of course she is having a baby, that is why I am standing here.” I babbled frantically. “OK what is her name?” they asked. “Right, right her name. That would help. It is Warren.” I replied. They all looked at each other very confused as they search the computer. “Jessica Warren.” I clarified. “WE don’t have any Warrens here.” For a moment I thought I went to the wrong hospital and then I remembered that they never told me if they checked in or not. “Oh, the parking garage ramp. They are still in the parking garage.” “I will be right back with her,” I said running back out the doors. I am surprised they didn’t call security and send the psych ward after me. I ran out the doors and saw the hall I came in on realized I could not go back the way I came without a nurse. So I headed for the elevators asking the people going down if they new how to get to the parking ramp. They did so I followed them out hoping she didn’t hatch the kid before I found her. Seriously, this was turning into a sitcom just waiting to air. I could see this on Seinfield or something. haha

Part 2:She had a baby of course.

Well, I have had a few people ask me how the “she is having a baby” story ends. Well, she had a baby of course. Haha. There is definitely a lot more to the story, I just have been to busy holding the baby to write it. Haha. I did make it to the truck before she delivered. She insisted on walking in to help the contractions keep the baby moving down. So we had to stop 4 times from the tuck to the hospital entrance so she could breath through contractions. I found my self chuckling at the thought of the security guard on duty, just sitting up there watching parking ramp videos. That had to be an entertaining sight. We had to stop another 3 times from the entrance to the elevators to take us to the 3rd floor. People kept trying to give her wheel chairs. She tried sitting in one but said it was more painful to sit then to stand. So after that she just kept turning them down. Finally, we were steps away from the elevator and we were stopped again as she leaned into Jake doing her breathing pattern through another contraction. One of the hospital staff came and was talking to us about getting her a wheel chair. She again declined and he said, “Is her back hurting her?” I said, “She is having a baby.” Then I felt really stupid for stating the obvious until he said “Right now?” So to be honest I’m not sure if he was being smart with me for stating the obvious, or if he just really didn’t get it. Anyway, as I am trying to talk to him about the situation, Jess, still having a contraction utters a “Shhhhhhh.” So I was quiet, but this guy kept talking about wheel chairs and elevators and such. Getting seriously irritated Jess finally just says right out loud “Shut up!” I could hardly keep from laughing. Seeing that he kept talking I don’t think he got that either. We finally got her on to the elevator where we had to explain to another “man” with a wheel chair why she didn’t want to sit in it. Just as the doors were about to open she had another contraction so their we were holding the elevator doors open so the elevator wouldn’t take us back down, yet she couldn’t exactly move at that point in time either. So the “man” on the elevator hollers out, “We need a stretcher, NOW!” My sister just rolled her eyes. If everyone would just leave her alone during the contraction she would be ok. But still, it was quite funny. By the time she checked in she was at a 7 and delivered the fat chunky sumo wrestler 2½ hours later. He was purple and fat!!!!