So apparently there was a prerequisite class on making cookies that I forgot to register for the day I found out I was pregnant. For some reason I just thought it came with the job, ya know like when you become a supervisor and your boss hands you the keys to the shop! I didn’t realize there was a special training to attend. I just assumed all those years in the kitchen baking cookies with my mom would count my “student teaching” hours, per say. But apparently I missed the certification course that all the other moms seem to have passed with flying colors, because I cannot make a cookie to save my life… wait, nope, I do make an INCREDIBLE molasses cookie and here and there I might rock a chocolate chip, but I’d say 90% of the time they are not worth the calories…or the side affects. Sixteen years ago, when I was barely married I pulled out a recipe a woman from our church gave me at my wedding shower. Her cookies were amazing! Everyone raved about them at every gathering we had. Well, I wanted to be the cute little Betty Crocker wife and make those tasty cookies for my man. He returned home from work one day to an exploded kitchen and a wife beaming from ear to ear.
“Here Babe, try this?” I said in anticipation.
He took a bite and with a puzzled look, trying to be careful he said hesitantly, “What is it?”
“It’s a snicker doodle.” I zipped back, like DUH!
“That—is not—a snicker doodle.” He said as if letting me know I must be misunderstanding the recipe label.
“No, really, it is!” I said, as I waved the recipe card, with the word snicker doodle written right at the top, in front of his eyeballs.
That might be the RECIPE for a snicker doodle, but the cookie you just gave me, I can assure you, is not a snicker doodle.
Another time some years later, I took some cookies to my dad’s office, just being the nice daughter I am. My mother informed me that my dad had called her that day and said, “You need to go to Jamie’s house right now and teach that girl how to make cookies.”
Over the years I have gotten a little bit better. But just last week I had a craving for pumpkin cookies. The problem is every time I have a craving for a pumpkin cookie, I always have the grand idea to make them more pumkiny. So I add extra pumpkin looking for a really dense moist cookie. But then it’s too runny so I add a bit more flour, and then the dough doesn’t taste pumpkinny enough so I add more pumpkin and repeat this process till I give up and pop them in the oven.
When I put them in the oven I was hoping the end product would look like this…..

But instead they looked like this….

And yes that is a picture of exactly what it looks like….a cow pie. The only thing it is missing is the chocolate chips!

So apparently I missed the memo for the final registration of the mom prerequisite class… “How to make cookies like mom does!”