Hey everyone…Here is a Super Z update and following is what you get when you involve 2 writers…we write….

Surgery is scheduled for tomorrow at 6am!  We will post updates on our Facebook page as we get them.:)

The Day before Surgery….by Jessica Warren

Thusday morning. 6:43 am. Everyone is sleeping. I wake up with thoughts of surgery running through my head. God guide the surgeons hands. Hold my baby. You didn’t bring us this far to take him away. I can feel You…Please. My prayer is endless as it rolls in my head like big fluffy clouds slowly move across the sky. As much as I feel a peace and am comforted by the things God is showing me there is a constant struggle to stay in the now. Stay here in today. I don’t need to fast forward to surgery day because God is already there.
Everything is quiet. The new apartment is nice. Cozy. Thoughts of family dinners, morning snuggles, and warm sunny afternoons float through my mind. Time with these beautiful boys. The gratitiude swells and I start to Thank God for the experience of being able to raise these incredible gifts He gave me. We are here in these moments for just a short time…moments. And I want to be able to truly be who I AM in the moments that I have. Going through something like this clears the fog. It clears unnecessary busy hum that is usually present in my head. I find myself to tired to over think. To tired to add unnecessary emotion into my day. I want to be intentional.
I look back on the pre-op day. We woke up early after having such a long day of travel, unpacking, and grocery shopping. But Zayne was ready. In fact, we all knew our way around the hospital after spending 4 days here just a mere 3 weeks ago. We new which elevator to get on, where the cafeteria was, and most of all where the playroom was. Z shined in strength. That morning I put numbing cream on his arm and he barely made a fuss. And when we went in for the poke he negotiated with the nurse of how many prizes he would get if he was big! Haahaa!!! He was a champ! He’s ready. I know he is. Before they poked him he heard the music that was playing at the front desk and said “Mom….You have that song on your phone.” With a smile. I was trying to hear what it was when all the sudden the familiar song wrapped around me. “YOU Make me brave, You call me out beyond the shore into the waves, YOU make me brave, NO fear can hinder now the promise that you’ve made.” I had to take another breath in. Of all songs that could have been playing on that radio it was that one and it was at exactly that point! And I knew God was letting me know He Is There. We got done with the poke and headed down to x-ray. On the way I got a text message from April Walker. “God Is There Jess, Love YOU!” I got goosebumps!! We stepped into the elevator and Zayne was so excited to push the button. This older woman had already pushed the button for our floor. Zayne was bummed. “I wanted to push it Dad.” Zayne said disappointed. For those of you that don’t know my husband was born to be a dad : ) “Hurry push it again and it will make us go EVEN faster!” He said in excitement hoping Z would take the bait. The older lady smiled and said “Oh yes! This place is magical!” with a twinkle in her eye. My head shot over to her. To catch everyone up, my sister says that before our family has to split up or before Michael has to go out of town. Anytime something big happens we always have to have a “magical” time before. So we will all do breakfast together, or go bowling, or have a special dinner at home with candles. Whatever FEELS special to her in the moment is what she does. : ) So hearing this stranger say those words about the hospital was CRAZY. The first time we came down Jamie was telling me to try and find the magic basically. “You have to make it magical Jess.” She had said. And now here in the present moment I stood there looking at that lady, “What?” I said thinking I mis-heard what she said. “You have to MAKE this place magical for them! I think that’s great!” she repeated with a beautiful soft smile on her face. DING. The elevator doors opened, Jake and Zayne stepped off and I couldn’t help but keep looking at the lady as I exited. “Yes….It’s just so weird that you said that.” I was still in a little shock as the doors closed looking at her smiling face. Magical. I knew HE was there trying to get my attention. And He did.
The rest of the day was great. We did some running around and then my cousin came out and had dinner with us. There was something about Zayne that night. He was so happy. So social. He had to sit by uncle Dan at dinner. And then talked his ear off : ) His usual grumpiness wasn’t there. And I started realizing this is what my boy is like when he’s off Chemo. He feels good and turns back into that curious happy go lucky little man he was.
Sitting in our new living room last night watching my boys play and having family here was so nice. Cozy. REAL. I have an amazing life! An amazing family! And amazing Friends! Wathcing the Go Fund Me grow has been humbling to say the least. And attending the Biggby Event in Albion last week was just amazing. Seeing and hugging everyone, knowing that the support would continue even thousands of miles away was so inspiring! Being on the receiving end has never been easy for me. And being able to witness all the amazing people give to help…I have no words. The beautiful cards and letters I have received have been uplifting and so supportive. The amount of support we have gotten has been AMAZING. The money, the words, the hugs!!! It’s all so incredible to me. How do you say thankyou to family, friends and a community that has not only supported you once, but supported you through the whole 2 years of our journey so far. I received a letter and card from a single mom recently and I found myself not being able to wait to help someone else. This is what it means to support someone. Give when you can and be thankful when you receive.
I don’t know how my little family was so blessed to be on the receiving end of such great people!! I am surrounded by an incredible Family, Friends and community! And thankyou just doesn’t cover it anymore!!

I leave you with a song that is my heart…

The Day Before Surgery…by Jamie Lightner

The Day before surgery… time for a run…I haven’t run in a long time…my knee disagrees with running, it prefers couch sitting. Lol But today… I needed to run. Ya see, I have hated running since I was a little girl. Don’t get me wrong, I liked running and playing. Tag and hide and seek and baseball. But for some reason every time they “made” me run the mile in gym class I would hate it. And even as I got older I hated it… long story short I avoided long distance running until Josh(my 1st born) was a 3rd grader and asked me to run the 3k, yeah, how was I going to say no. It was after that I decided to challenge myself. Another long story short…I challenged myself to be able to run the 3k straight through. I know it sounds miniscule, but it was a big deal to me the day I did it. I felt like I had beat my own weakness, and if I could beat that weakness…surely there was no stopping me anywhere else, right. So every time I ran I felt like I gained power.
But these past couple years, due to a knee injury, I switched from running to yoga…which is a whole different kind of challenge for me who doesn’t like to slow down…and not to mention isn’t that bendy.
But today, well, today I needed to run. I needed to challenge my own weakness once again.
So there I was putting in my headphones as I stepped onto the treadmill. Starting with a walk I could hear the rhythm of my feet hit rubber as I pressed play on the music line up I chose for today…
If you want to join me on my run, Press play and when the music starts read the rest of this blog and I will take you my journey.

You make me Brave

The song starts…I still hear the rhythm of my feet briskly walk beneath the music. I take comfort in both. Methodical, tranquil, building an underlying reservoir of power, faith, hope and strength as I use the music to connect with my higher power. As the words play I see him. I see the angel that came to me a month ago when a few of us gathered to pray for Zayne. We were in a circle. All of us surrounding Jake and Jess and we poured our hearts out crying out for wisdom and strength. As we prayed this enormous, massive, powerful angel emerged out of our circle. His back was to me, all I could see were his wings. I have NEVER seen wings like these. I have never seen a picture or statue even come close to describing what I saw. His wings were thick and they gave of a feeling of strength and power. Finally when his whole being towered over our circle, wings so big I couldn’t even see his body, he turned just enough that I could see his face. His face looked as if it was etched out of stone. Grey in color but emanated wisdom, power and strength. My words don’t even suffice. And I knew he was there for us. He was bringing us hope.
As I ran today and reminisced about the angel that I saw, I felt him again as I ran. Today, even though his energy was still strong and powerful, there was something warm and almost playful , it almost seemed as if he was running next to me encouraging me to break my own barriers. “I am here.” I felt him say. “ I will run this race with you.” His strength, pushing me forward. The feeling I got from him was, that God had this surgery in the bag and he was sent her to walk us through it. He was sent here to help us.
“As your love, wave after wave, crashes over me.” The words to the song rushed over me as I increased my speed to a run, ready to take challenge. As I heard my feet hit the rubber at a quicker pace, I knew we were right where we were meant to be. God has been with us every step of the way. “You are for us, you are not against us.” Sweat beaded up on my forehead, my muscles lost their tension and I felt stress drip off me with each stream of sweat .
“You make me brave.” As I hear these words I remember my sister singing them in her church service about 2 months ago. As I continued to run, again I increased the speed. “you make me brave, you make me brave.” Faster, faster….I ran. I let the words of the song crash over my being. They purged me of my worry and filled me with strength.

Then the next song came on.

Something in the Water

I slowed my run just a touch as I let the next song wash over me. I would keep going. …Again I tuned into the rhythm of my feet hitting the rubber underneath me as it forced me to run further. As I exhausted myself physically I could feel my emotional state strengthen. By now sweat was dipping and I felt my power growing. I looked at my eyes in the mirror. How did we get here. When they drop those slimy little miracles on your stomach at birth you just can’t fathom something like this happening, let alone coming out the other side of it. We all have a story. My family isn’t unique…. We all have a “why is this happening to me moment, when we are overwhelmed with confusion, sadness, rage, left with nothing but the question of why? ” Why……….. I heard the phrase “Now I am changed, now I am stronger” I found myself thinking about how this situation, though we would change if we could, has changed us, and made us stronger. I have seen God in the craziest of places. I thought to myself, it is situations like these that will grow your faith. Now, I don’t know what you believe, heck, I don’t even know what I believe…entirely. You can believe what you want, But what I do know I believe is there is a higher power, and he created me. And for some reason, he loves me, why, I am not even sure. Lol But I know he does, And when life doesn’t make sense I just have to, in blind faith, believe. And when the moment of strife passes…. I really am stronger. In my complete surrender, he lifts me up.
After Carrie Underwood was finished singing the socks off “Amazing Grace” I dropped my pace to a brisk walk again, to cool down. I finished my playlist with the next song..
This is the Time

As the music began, I again took comfort in the rhythm of my feet . This song has encouraged me lately. As I listened to the words I thought of all the times I have stepped out in the past few years. The challenges that I have taken personally, and what I have been able to accomplish. So many times I thought for sure I would fall and not recover. I laughed as I reminisced about the book signings Jess and I have done. What! Did we really do it! My heart was filled with warmth as I thought of my kids and all they do. How amazing it is to see them take on life as well. Often times as a parent I worry about them and what moments of “why….why me” they will have…but I have to again, let go in faith. I think about Ayden and Zayne. Ayden watching his little brother face his challenge at such a young age. But as this song kept playing I saw Zayne, I saw him growing and laughing and probably wrestling. I fast forwarded years and saw him coaching his own wrestling team and maybe take on his own curly headed mascot. Lol I saw us all, just keep moving forward.

One step at I time, we keep moving forward. I don’t know what lies ahead…. But I just have to believe God has brought us this far…we will keep flying.
The song finished…I stepped of the treadmill…..As I walked down the hall to my room I could hear my footsteps echo off the walls. My steps were stronger….I was ready.