So my hubby loves to make fun of my favorite romantic comedy “cliché” lines. But me, well I actually believe them. Some people don’t believe in soul mates and I really can’t give you a scientific argument as to whether they are real or not, but I believe in them. How could I not? I found mine. My hubby and I met at the ripe old age of 15 and 16. I was sitting next to his sister at a high school dance when he came up to ask her for some quarters to get a pop. When I think back on that day now, wow, we were just kids. Literally…KIDS. He asked me to dance twice that night. I can still remember the feel of my hand on his shoulder. He was wearing a grey cotton football T-shirt(later I found out the t-shirt wasn’t even his. He didn’t intend on going to the dance that night, but the other football players convinced him to go, and his classmate, Jake, lent him the shirt. Lol Too funny.) I remember at some point in the dance watching him walk across the darkened gym floor heading, I don’t even know where, but I said to myself…Hmmm. I think I might just marry him. It was a fleeting thought; I’m not really even sure how much stock I put in my accuracy in that moment. Then again they say when ya know, ya know…and here we are.
And 20 years later, my own sappy line I am always telling him is… I am a better “me” when I am with you. My husband is truly my hero. Not only does he love me and take care of me, I truly admire the person he is. He has many character traits that over the years I have worked really hard to adopt. Some of them, like his patience, I am less successful at… but others, I am making progress with…like letting people save face rather than defending my position, or making a decision and being ok with it, even if others think I am crazy.
He is so steady. My personality type is very dynamic…sometimes I feel like a yo-yo. But Michael, he is steady and he helps ground me. Don’t get me wrong, I tell him his life would be boring without me here taking him on some emotional rides, but if it weren’t for him I might just bounce off into space, or drop so low, I would sink to the middle of the earth. He gently steadies me, when I need it.
He is an amazing Dad. He is so patient with our kids and is such a great example for them. I pray my boys are just like him to their wives someday, and I pray that Kate marries someone who will take care of her the way he does me someday.
My man has so many admirable qualities I could go on and on…but what I love the most about him is the way he loves me. I can see it in his eyes…that man LOVES me. And I am not the easiest person to live with…trust me…he puts up with a lot. He loves me so much he knows pretty much everything about me. He can predict my every move and every thought. He knows when I am beating myself up and he knows when I am thinking too much when I lie in bed. He knows what will bring a smile to my face or make me giggle. He knows how to make me feel safe. He believes in me even when I don’t believe in myself. He loves ALL of me. He loves me even when I react before I think. He loves me even when I am annoyed with him. He loves me even when I annoy HIM. He loves me even though I drop my cell phone in my chocolate shake, and probably accidentally burned his dart board I got him for Christmas.(He unwrapped it, and a few days later we have NO idea where it went. It disappeared after I put the tree away and cleaned house one day, the only thing I can think is maybe it got thrown into the burn pile, I have no idea, but he still loves me) He loves me even though I have back into my sisters car 3 times, my mom’s car once, and backed over a mailbox. I just LOVE the way he loves me!(another “cliché” line. Lol) But it’s true! He makes me feel as though I hung the moon, but if I had, it would be crooked or might have fallen down by now. lol
He is an amazing man and I just couldn’t help brag about him for Valentine’s Day. But don’t worry, when I am in one of my “Honey, you are so great moments” and he says, “Babe, I am not perfect.” I stick one hand on my hip, get that good neck bobbin my head back and forth action, and with a little attitude say… “Oh, don’t worry… I know you’re not perfect!” lol
In all seriousness, throughout my marriage, I think the one think I have learned that has helped me and Michael through those, “I love you, but I don’t have to like you times” is that everyone has a different side to the story and neither side is “evil.” There are misunderstandings and mis-perceptions that may cause one side to feel attacked, unappreciated but on the other side there is usually someone who has been misunderstood. There have been so many times I have been so upset at Mike for something he did or didn’t do and in my “smoke coming out of my ears” moment likened him to…well… a donkey, after I have listened to his perspective, well, more times than not it makes sense. I’ll never forget one time when I was accusing him of something, can’t even remember what, but I remember he said, “Do you think I am just a jerk? When in our marriage have I just been a jerk … on purpose?”
Well, it stopped me in my tracks. I knew that he would never intentionally just be a jerk. Yes, we all have our moments of insensitivity or reacting defensively to something. But when do we just be a “jerk” just to be a “jerk.” Usually there is a reason. Reasons range from, not thinking, getting offended and reacting, misunderstanding someone, tunnel vision…. The list goes on and on. But the point I am trying to make is…Everyone has their side of the story and neither one is RIGHT and NEITHER one is wrong. It’s just their perspective. Rather than getting our feathers all tuffled(or whatever the saying is) How about we ask ourselves…

Would I want the other person to assume the best of me?
Would I want the other person to work to understand me?
Would I want the other person to extend me a little grace, when maybe I am just having a rough day?
And then let’s do that for the other person.
So next time someone sees smoke coming out my ears at my hubby…well, I am still learning too. Lol

PS – the photo at the top was taken by Jake(now my bro-in-law). We went sightseeing in Colorado and I got it in my head that I wanted to do a Notebook Picture. Ya know, in that movie The Notebook, when he picks her up and they kiss in the rain. Yeah, I wanted Michael and I to have one of those pictures, (ya see what he puts up with and even does to make me happy, lol) Anyway, while he kept picking me up and kissing me, (in front of Jake whom we barely knew at the time), well, I kept laughing. We finally did get our “Notebook” kissing picture, but I ended up hanging up our “blooper” because it was just “us”. Gosh I love that man. 😉